


Stimming

by Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer



Series: Here We Are In The Future... [7]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Aster Universe, Gen, Steven Universe's Brother, Stimming, lowkey while doing research for this i was literally the 'i do that' vine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29005929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer/pseuds/Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer
Summary: Mm, he didn't like the feeling that had flushed through him, the sudden boundless energy that had filled his body up to every little crack and crevice there was. His body just… itched. Itched to move.| Post-CMM (Change My Mind.)
Relationships: Aster Universe & Connie Maheswaran, Greg Universe & Aster Universe, Jasper & Steven Universe, Steven Universe & Aster Universe
Series: Here We Are In The Future... [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057664
Comments: 16
Kudos: 21





	Stimming

The first time, Aster didn't think anything of it - just a sugar high.

He'd been sitting next to Steven, nibbling on a strawberry donut while the hybrid and Jasper went at it on Mario Kart on their Switches. Steven had gifted Jasper with her own once the gem had returned from some sort of field trip from Little Homeschool, presenting it to her excitedly. She hadn't really touched it until a few days later, when Steven had challenged her to a race. Now the two of them couldn't seem to put their consoles down. Aster joined in every now and again, and he probably would have been playing if he wasn't eating, but the gem wasn't exactly keen on getting his own Switch sticky with strawberry icing, so he refrained for now. So he settled for watching Steven as the hybrid played on the television, while Jasper sat hunched in her chair in the corner, fingers clicking over the controls furiously. She seemed to be winning, which Aster wasn't surprised about. He'd challenged the gem himself a few times.

(Which was part of the reason he preferred playing with Steven - no offense to Steven, of course - but when it came to Mario Kart, Jasper was like some kind of goddess or something.)

Regardless, he might have gotten a bit too excited, and the sugar rushing through his system didn't help matters. So when his foot started twitching, wiggling furiously against the floor, wagging back and forth like a dog's tail, Aster didn't notice until Steven suddenly glanced at him, tearing his eyes away from the television for only half a second to ask him, "you okay, Azzy?"

"Hm?" Aster looked over, distracted, then glanced down, forcing his leg to go still. "Oh." He stared at his foot curiously for a moment, almost quizzically. Mm, he didn't like the feeling that had flushed through him, the sudden boundless energy that had filled his body up to every little crack and crevice there was. His body just… itched. Itched to _move_. The gem narrowed his eyes, gaze lingering on his leg for a moment longer before it occurred to him to answer Steven's question. "Oh, yes, I'm alright, Steven, don't worry," he assured, glancing back at his brother. Steven glanced over at him again, still looking worried, then back at the television. "I apologize."

"No, no-" Steven huffed out a laugh, pausing briefly to look at him completely. "It's okay, I don't _mind_. It's not hurting anyone, I mean. You're just usually so still… I thought maybe you were anxious for some reason." Aster inclined his head at that, managing a brief smile in his direction.

"More so excited, I believe. Um…" He hummed a little, searching for the right word. "Restless."

"Right." Steven smiled at him briefly, then looked back at the television. "As long as you're okay." Aster only smiled again, looking back at the television just in time to see a red shell hit Steven dead on from behind, which immediately caused the hybrid to shriek. "OH, NO, YOU _BITCH!"_

"HAHA! FUCK! YOU!"

Aster raised his eyebrows and smiled, sitting back.

Within a few minutes, his foot was moving again. Nobody said anything.

* * *

Greg was the next one to notice, a few days later. Steven was out with Connie and Jasper was at Little Homeschool, and Greg wasn't working at the car wash today, so they were home alone.

At this point, he really, truly didn't mean to do it. Sometimes he'd catch himself in the act, wiggling his foot rapidly back and forth or bouncing his leg. Sometimes, even, he'd find himself humming and mumbling under his breath, grinding his teeth together and clenching his jaw. He came to realize what brought such things on; with his feet and leg, it was when he got excited. Like his body reacted before _he_ did. The humming happened when he was trying to concentrate, like when he was playing Mario Kart with Steven and Jasper, or when he did the dishes or cooked. Grinding and clenching his teeth usually happened after he ate donuts, with no real reason for it, just seemingly moving them because he could. Just to feel them, maybe.

Truthfully, he didn't know why he did it. He just did it.

Today, the energy coursing through his system wouldn't let up no matter how many times he bounced his leg. He had to _move_. He shifted his arms around a few times, sitting at the table with his phone in front of him, watching TubeTube while Greg cleaned the counters after lunch. He clenched and unclenched his fists, kicking his feet back and forth, until finally he simply had to pause the video and stand up. There was so much tension in his muscles, so much energy.

 _But why? I'm not…_ he shook his head, rubbing his hands together, and looked down.

Greg turned toward him, looking worried. "Hey, you okay?"

"I think." Aster waved a hand, frustrated. Actually, that helped… not completely, but it was better than sitting or standing there doing nothing. He did it again, almost absentmindedly and yet completely aware of what he was doing, and frowned. No, he was almost… _hyper_ aware of what he was doing. He couldn't stop moving… perhaps a side-effect of the chains, being trapped? But if that were the case, he didn't understand why it was only presenting itself now. And he didn't particularly feel trapped, either. He just needed to move. "I can't stop… moving."

Greg put the cloth down, turning his full attention back to Aster, and stepped around the table to make his way over to the pink teenager with a worried frown. "You got the jitters?"

Aster frowned, staring at his hand for a moment. "I just can't stop moving."

Greg twisted his mouth, thinking. "... you wanna go for a walk?"

Aster glanced up at him, startled, then furrowed his eyebrows. A walk might help a little. Maybe he was just a little too restless, needed to get some of that energy out. Maybe he was going stir crazy, needed to get out more. Whatever the case, it was certainly worth a shot. "Yeah."

Greg smiled at him, put a hand on his head and messed up his hair the way he so often did with Steven. Aster found himself jerking his head down a little, not completely out of his reach, but Greg pulled back the rest of the way immediately, eyes widening slightly with alarm for a moment, before an apologetic look flickered across his face, stepping back. "Ah… sorry. I'm gonna go get my jacket, yeah? Then we can head out." He smiled again, a little more strained, and turned to leave the room before Aster could recover completely enough to open his mouth.

Staring after his father, he felt his eyes shift without his permission, pupils turning to diamonds.

For the first time, he thought, Greg _felt_ like his father.

(And for the first time, he felt something akin to love for the man.)

* * *

Finally, Aster decided, he just didn't care.

Steven was right; it wasn't hurting anyone. Nobody _minded_. They asked him if he was okay, but once they made sure nothing was wrong with him, it didn't seem to bother them. So, he stopped being so hypervigilant; it didn't stop him from noticing sometimes, but it certainly stopped him from caring regardless. He found himself doing other things, moving and shaking his hands and tapping his fingers and twisting his shirt between his fingers. He did it when he was happy, excited, worried, bored. He did it because he could. He didn't know what to blame it on, the sugar or just the fact that he was able to move now, that being trapped for so long had made just _moving_ seem odd to him - but it didn't matter. He stopped focusing on it, and just… did it.

Connie noticed.

She'd brought a chess board over one night, showing Aster how to play while Steven helped Greg in the kitchen and Jasper stretched out on the floor with Lion, playing on her Switch. He was sitting on the couch and Connie was in a chair on the other side of the coffee table, clicking the pieces into place while Aster looked the board over, fascinated by the pieces, the layout.

His leg started bouncing, and he didn't notice until Connie suddenly glanced up at him, looking at him curiously at first and then glancing down as Aster's leg bumped lightly against the table.

He stilled for a second, glancing down, then offered her an apologetic glance. "My apologies."

"Nah, it's okay." Connie giggled, putting the last piece down and taking the box off of the table to give them some more room. "I do it too sometimes. Sometimes there's just so much energy you just kinda got to shake it out, right?" She smiled at him, and Aster briefly allowed his pupils to shift into exclamation points to express his surprise, because that was _exactly_ what it felt like.

"So it's normal, then?"

Connie blinked, a surprised look flitting across her face, then shook her head and chuckled. "Aster… trust me, the most abnormal thing about you is that you're pink," she assured him. After a moment, though, twisting her mouth, she added a little quieter, "if it helps, you could look up something called stimming. Once I found out about it, doing a little research on it helped." She fell silent for a moment, and Aster tilted his head, nodding faintly as he watched her. "Anyways." She paused, flashing him a grin, and gestured to the board. "Ready to learn?"

Aster raised an eyebrow and tugged his lips into a brief smirk at his future sister-in-law, inclining his head in a silent agreement and scooting forward a little to be able to reach the board better.

* * *

Later that night, stretched out in his bed with Steven snoring away on the bottom bunk below him, he did as Connie had suggested and sat awake most of the night scrolling on his phone. The first thing he looked up was 'stimming', as that was what Connie had suggested he looked into. After the first few articles that popped up, he found himself completely enraptured in it all.

The first article told him so much as it was; _self-stimulatory behaviour, also known as stimming and self-stimulation,_ _is the repetition of physical movements, sounds, words, or moving objects. Such behaviours (also scientifically known as 'stereotypies') are found in people with developmental disabilities and are especially frequent in people on the autism spectrum._

He scanned the page a few times, then went back and looked through the other articles.

_Common stimming behaviors include:_

_biting your fingernails_ \- no, he didn't do that…  
 _twirling your hair around your fingers_ \- nope  
 _cracking your knuckles or other joints_ \- nada  
 _drumming your fingers_ \- sometimes, he recognized  
 _tapping your pencil_ \- well, he didn't use pencils  
 _jiggling your foot_ \- definitely  
 _whistling_ \- no

He scrolled down a little more, and saw another list.

_In a person with autism, stimming might involve:  
_

_rocking_ \- no  
 _flapping hands or flicking or snapping fingers_ \- often  
 _bouncing, jumping, or twirling_ \- … no? Unless bouncing his leg counted as 'bouncing'  
 _pacing or walking on tiptoes_ \- ah… yes, he paced sometimes  
 _pulling hair_ \- he tugged at his curls sometimes, absentmindedly, when he read…  
 _repeating words or phrases_ \- no  
 _rubbing the skin or scratching_ \- … yes, sometimes, he rubbed his hands together, rubbed at his face, his arms, not for any particular reason  
 _repetitive blinking_ \- every now and then  
 _staring at lights or rotating objects such as ceiling fans_ \- no  
 _licking, rubbing, or stroking particular types of objects_ \- no  
 _sniffing at people or objects_ \- no  
 _rearranging objects_ \- no

Aster gazed at the list for a moment, rereading it a few times to see if he'd missed or understood something, and tilted his head, frowning at his phone. 'Autism'. That seemed like something he'd need to look into - for now, however, he backed out again and went to yet another article. This particular one, after a bit of scrolling and reading a few paragraphs down, told him _people with autism may stim because they are excited, happy, anxious, overwhelmed, or because it feels comforting. Under stressful circumstances, they may stim for long periods of time._

The gem grinded his teeth, clenching his jaw a few times as he thought, and frowned.

… this was something he needed to look into.


End file.
